Problems

The first drastic problem was the exhaust, after about six months it blew and I attempted several bodge jobs with kits from the local Halfords. In the end we got a new exhaust from Volkswagen - cost a bloody fortune (I think it was about 140 quid) - actually installed the thing myself (uh-hu, an apprentice toying with a car again) finally, it was very quiet again...so the god of automobiles must have been appeased.

The second drastic item to go was the windscreen wiper motor - cost a small fortune again, the wipers worked after that...all these drastic items wouldn't have seemed so drastic if I'd bought an affordable car, however, if I'd had any sense at all.......

Hit and Run. One day, while I was sleeping on the couch or something, someone must have tried to parallel park and drove across and through one side of the car. Thank you very much. Right in front of our council flat, one side of car rather bent and scraped. Mark helped me out on this one, we bodged it up at his dads garage in Enfield Street, Wigan - we never did match the paint up so I eventually had a "professional" job done (80 quid - July 25th 1977).

When I say professional I mean East End of London Magic fingers Murphy professional. I don't think the guy had that much experience working with clear coat or metallic paints...probably had trouble using Crayola crayons also. The car was finally all the right colour, it was just rather interesting in a certain light.

German Engineering

February 25th, 1977 or thereabouts....
Volkswagen K70L
Registration number : XOO 910L.

This was my second car and I rushed into buying it - with money from my wifes mothers estate. (see the trend...) I didn't even give it a test drive - had a spin around the block with the dealer driving (a definite trend). Ilford, Essex - just down that road - you know.....

It took me three tries to write the cheque (the dealer even offered to write it for me!) - didn't pick the car up until the 29th after waiting agonizing days for the cheque to clear.

The money had come from an inheritance (very young and the first taste of real money) and was just burning a hole in our pockets, well, I must admit it was probably more burning a hole in my pocket than my wifes - This car was an impulse buy, looking back I should have bought in the 400 quid range and used the remainder on a house down payment or something - hindsight at work again.

And again, external factors, insurance and maintenance just made things worse.

The Wolseley Hornet

Stock photo, no picture ever taken for some reason.

Cost : 365 quid. Private sale, I actually bargained with the guy and got a good deal. I remember he lived within sight of the old Cathedral in Liverpool, I even test drove this one...

1300 cc engine. 4 speed manual. White paint. Cream leather seats. Boot.

Distinguishing features : it smelt of old car, leather seats, Mahogany dashboard (you know, typical mini type - the one big clock in the middle), it looked cute and there had been a bit of body work done (slight discoloration of some paint) - still, it was more in line with my salary and it wasn't going to cost a fortune to run.

Highlights of career : Problems, insignificant really, Windscreen wipers, distributor cap. This became my main car after selling the K70L (which I'll discuss next) - and this was supposed to be my wifes car.

I can remember vividly a drive down to London on 18th July 1977 and the petrol gauge was very much an unknown quantity and I ran out. Called the AA and they came and got me up and running again after waiting at the side of the motorway for an hour.

There is a previous post on this blog about the cars demise.

Down with Skool

Highly recommended reading "Down with Skool" and "How to be Topp"

Nigel Molesworth is the supposed author of a series of books (actually written by Geoffrey Willans), with cartoon illustrations by Ronald Searle.

Our landlord, back in the days of apprenticeship, was nicknamed Gabitas after a sinister character in the first book.

Cream Crackers

So what was I doing during this period of the mororbike and the car?

I was an apprentice at Ford Motor Company. At the training centre at Harold Hill and Barking College of Further Education, back to company bought canteen dinners, a good job too as we spent all our spare money on booze.

I was always drunk (normally on hard spirits drank at the Bridgehouse, Green Man or Lacy Lady) and was existing on 14 quid a week which was rapidly whittled down with expenses and my ability to waste money like water.

These were the early days of Mark Gaskill, Boggy and Steve. Pete Benjafield, Dave (cannot remember his surname) and me. Nights in the East end of London, spent at the the Green man and the Lacy lady.

Simple times of cream cracker and swiss roll eating contests, ten pence shorts (hard spirits) and eighteen pence pint bottles of Newcastle Brown. I'd only recently seen a 'live' woman naked and I think I'd made one "up north" pregnant but did not know why...

We (Mark and myself) were living in the house of Gabitas (ref: 'Down with Skool!') and getting by. The East end of London was a great place to be...if you wasn't an apprentice that is.

Kill the Car

Well, we decided to take it over to the 'powerdrome' - a Romford learner's circuit.

Pete Benjafield got two gallons of oil and we sploshed it onto the skid pan. Then we proceeded to take 40 minutes to turn the damn thing over. we succeeded! What little daredevils we were in those days - the car actually fell over, not the graceful roll we'd hoped for.

I'll always remember the astonished looks of the learner drivers - is that what we're supposed to do?.... We drove the car home to Acacia Avenue, smoke pulsing out of the exhaust, all the neighbours peering from behind their net curtains. Parked the dying sluggo outside the house where the car stayed until Mr. ScrapMan came along and took it off my hands on April 13th 1976.

I got 4 quid for it - a night on the town.

Road Tax and the Law

I never bought road tax and one day I was 'pulled' - I'd left the car outside Halfords and gone shopping in Romford. When I got back there was a 'bizzy' waiting for me to drive off. He promptly stopped me - my stupid quote of the car "I'm sorry officer, It's been without tax for a month now...I was just doing it up!" - what a star!. Well, I was summoned to court and pleaded guilty in my own absence.

The summons read :On Wednesday, 25 February 1976 at 12.35pm a police officer saw you driving a private motor car, registration mark 5455 EV, west along High Street, Romford. You were stopped by the officer to whom you admitted that you had failed to notify the Secretary of State for the Environment concerned of your acquisition of the vehicle, The offence was pointed out to you and you said "I've been using it for a month like that." Told you would be reported and you said, "I'm just doing it up." Its funny how things said on the spur of the moment can be so damning when applied to a legal document.