Bipolar

You may think, following that last post, that I have a bipolar condition when I tell you I've been rather happy lately.

Thats understandable.

It's been a good year, from September to September. I'm happy to be around and life is probably better than it ever was, which is sometimes a reason for me to think about my brothers death and the effect it had on my parents and the rest of the family.

The very way I skirt around the issue indicates that I'm not quite sure about this god thing and really don't have evidence to out and out dismiss the concept, however, I am unable, unlike some religious people, to use god as a band aid for incumbent grief, unable to say that "It's all ok because it happened for a reason" and am even more concerned that any of the bad things that happened to my family have been presented to me to demonstrate and reinforce how happy I am, or should be, at any given moment.

You could call me bipolar, but I'd rather think of myself as a smartie, nice crisp shell of happiness with a darker, sad, core.