The Eighteenth birthday chocolate cake

November, 1981

By the time November the 6th had arrived I was dating this young upstart called Karen Gore and we had carnival knowledge of each other (several times) - it was a fact that she had an excellent bum and the Maxi was being used to ferry it backwards and forwards from Wigan to Skelmersdale once or twice a week. I think it was the Maxi that attracted her, women like flash cars, especially hand painted ones....

So. November 6th. 1981. (yes, the 6th again) I had been in the Poacher (the local pub in Winstanley, Wigan) the night before, I had travelled up from "Skem" and had quite a few home brews (from my neighbours wine vault) during a bonfire party at his house.

During the course of the night I downed several more beers and was rather drunk, so drunk that Karen was encouraging people to retain my car keys. They were unsuccessful and I drove home without incident.

So, this night, November 6th. Karens 18th birthday, we bought her a chocolate cake and sang "Happy Birthday" about a dozen or so times, each time lighting the candles and getting her to blow them out. I kept sober all night, drinking two maybe three pints of shandy, I had every intention of bedding this wench before the night was through.

We placed the chocolate cake on the back seat and drove off towards Bed, er.. I mean Skelmersdale. On the way home we went the scenic route of Alma Hill - a steep 1:8 hill that was always fun. I can remember looking at Karen and saying "Wheee!" as we went around the corner at the start of the hill. I suppose we were in the middle of the road and everything would have been fine if there hadn't been an Austin Allegro coming down the hill in the middle of the road at that exact same moment. Crunch! Driver side wing of Maxi fused with driver side wing of Allegro.

The impact was quite dramatic, I must have locked my arms out because the steering wheel wrapped itself around the column. Karen clouted her knee on the dashboard but luckily we both had seat belts on so there were no real injuries. I was to hear Karen complaining about that knee for several months afterwards though, almost like a post-crash echo...